When the time is not now...

We live in a world where everyone acts on impulse. When we want something, we do whatever we can to get it. Some people will make attempts within reason; others lose all sense of conviction and sound judgment. Still, no matter how hard we try or how badly we might want something, we don't get it simply because it is not the time. I choose to believe that we don't get what we often want because it is not God's will or His plan for our lives. It's these disappointments that comprise the realm of severe blessings. They hurt but are always for our own good. More often than not something else comes along that was better than what we wanted in the first place. The problem with such hopeful prospects is that they require waiting and thus an endurable amount of patience. We, as impatient creatures, don't know how to cope with these circumstances, so we quickly become so discouraged that we fail to grasp the definitive anchor of hope that comes with waiting: the future. We may not get what we want right away, but we have no right to lose hope as long as there is a future. What would be the point of life if it was a dead end road? What we want may take time and we might not get what we wanted in the first place. But somehow things never fail to work out in the end. It's truly these severe blessings that make God so real and so close. But as long as there is a tomorrow, there is hope.

Severely Blessed

By the mercy of God, I have been very blessed in my life. I take so many of those blessings for granted and often want more than what I have instead of simply being content. When that happens, I become severely blessed. "Severe blessings" are those that don't work out according to my desires. They are "severe" because they are often painful, but they are blessings because God uses them to work in my life and teach me some valuable lessons. I may not get what I want or when I do get what I want, it's not as great as I originally thought. Nevertheless, the pain is worth the lessons from these experiences. So while it may sound like an oxymoron, it never fails to make me marvel at how God can take even our hurts and angers and turn them into something beautiful simply for the sake of bringing us closer to Him.

Where You Are vs. Who You Are

In a recent post, I quoted the great Ralph Ellison, who said, "Perhaps to lose a sense of where you are implies the danger of losing a sense of who you are." While I agree that your surroundings and place in life influences who you are, I also believe that it can work in the opposite way. Where you are can also show you who you are not and where you should be as opposed to where you are. For example, every day I get up and I go to school - high school to be specific. And each day is a living testimony that where I currently am in life is not where I should be. I do not belong in this town or in this school. Still, though I trudge through the ditches and defication of civilization, I am thankful because where I am has shown me who I am not and who I want to be. The future is full of possibilities, and the most satisfying aspect is that I know I have limitless opportunities and amazing experiences waiting for me. As cliche as it sounds, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And while I look forward to attaining the light, I will always remember the tunnel because the experience showed me who I am and who I am meant to be.

Word of the Day

Every day I look forward to just one word. The fun part is I never know what that word will be. But dictionary.com never fails to provide me with my "word of that day" email. I wait patiently and impatiently throughout the day to get home to my laptop, sign in, and check my email. With breath bated, I anticipate the one email that will banish every deplorable aspect of my day with just one word. I keep the emails in a special folder in my email program so that I can cherish every word that has brightened my day and graced my humble vocabulary. The words are wonderful, but the real lesson is that sometimes all it takes is just one word.

The Elusive Today

I have decided that the hardest thing in life is to live in the present. Anyone who knows me well could tell you that I am the strongest advocate of the present. I believe it is the key to true bliss and contentment, and it is the source of wisdom and knowledge. But it is without a doubt the hardest thing to grasp. And it is so ironic because it is ours for the taking yet we constantly overlook its relevance and importance in an effort to find more and satiate our curiosity. The future is so much more enticing because we don't have it, and as humans, we always want what we can't have - at least, what we can't have immediately. The fact that the future is unknown and new makes it that much more desirable. Because of our curious hunger for possibility, we miss the now that makes us who we are. As the narrator says in Ralph Ellison's novel Invisible Man, "Perhaps to lose a sense of where you are implies the danger of losing a sense of who you are." Where we are is the present, in which who we are is deeply embedded. It might take suffering and heartache, but I am determined to take it by force. I will continue to hope for and dream of the future, but first and foremost, I will hold to the present. It is all I have, and my heart needs to know who I am.

"If"

It's such a dangerous word - the only word I know to hold so much potential for both promise and regret. It can drive us to do things we might never before have dared because we think about what could be as opposed to what is. A major downside of "if" is that there is rarely any middle ground; things either turn out wonderfully or terribly. But that is not the worst characterstic. No, the worst thing is that "if" causes us to look ahead, behind, to the sides - anywhere but here. Because of "if," the present no longer exists. There is no "is". Don't misunderstand. The future and the past are important - even essential - to who we are. There is no doubt that both influence us, and one often affects the other. But without the present - without the "is" - we cannot reach our full potential or live life to the fullest. All we have is the here and now. The past is a picture on my bedroom wall, and the future is nothing but some hopeful words nestled in an envelope. Without the "is," there is no past and there is definitely no future. It is the bridge that connects who we used to be to who we are to who we will become.
"If" can burn every single bridge ever built and crossed, causing our attention to center either on regrets or on some bright, promising possibility. "If" is the culprit behind the want that undermines the "have." Don't you feel happier and more content when you finally own that book that you have wanted for weeks? The one you passed by every time you visited the bookstore and had to leave each time. You feel a little more fulfilled once you have it. The same is true of the present. Until we have the "is," we will never be completely content or fulfilled. The sad thing is that we already have it, but we don't realize it. We sit waiting for the "is" when, in reality, the "is" is waiting for us. So leave "if" behind and embrace "is." Then your life and who you are will be defined, and the past and the future will fall into place.

My Version of Rudyard Kipling's poem "If"

If you can keep the simple pleasures, if you can trust God, if you can wait at the window to see a shooting star, if you can dream of the future while holding to the present, if you can think of the past without regret, if you can meet the new day with hope, if you can bear hardship and pain, if you can make someone smile, if you can force yourself to jump in the cold water and just get it over with, if you can talk to your best friend all night long, if you can fill your cup with coffee, then you can live life with the satisfaction of being you.